Hi! my dearest void. Today, as most days, another hectic day. You make so many plans but at the end of the day, life has been planned for you already... by chance, coincidence or something greater than us and out of our reach. Tomorrow I was supposed to do something great and instead I need to work and work and work to try to make a living. It's my destiny! I was destined to be a working mom, a slave a would dare say of everyone elses time but mine.
I want to change the subject to something that caught my attention the other day, and it was a story line within a movie with several story lines, "He is Not That Into You" It's a romantic comedy, but even if the theme of these kind of movies seems platonic, stupid or even shallow, I always dig deeper to find something wonderful, meaningful to keep me going, to give me the strengh I need to hold on to another day, to give me the hope that not everything is dark and obscure and so realistic, and this time I realized that sometimes we need to dream big and think of ourselves as the exception of the rule to the ones we love. To be their extraordinary choice, to be their miracle. I am in such a hurry, but I will come back, my dear void, this is deeper than I thought! Time to go to my other job... I'll be seeing you!
martes, 17 de marzo de 2015
domingo, 8 de marzo de 2015
“¿Te acuerdas del primero...? Indefinible;
cubrió tu faz de cárdenos sonrojos
y en los espasmos de emoción terrible,
llenáronse de lágrimas tus ojos. “ Gabriela Mistral
Tus besos tienen sabor a foto,
a ese autorretrato para recordar,
al dulce trazar de una linea,
a una sonrisa cibernética.
Tu beso ha sido mi ALMA MATER,
los cien puntos que me levantan,
el suave roce que se siente
cuando escucho una canción de nana,
las cortas conversaciones que se repiten,
las preguntas tontas que se responden.
¡Ya me has besado de tantas veces!
...pero me falta el beso de tus labios,
ese que se expresa en cada verso,
el que solo puede darse entre las sombras,
y que hace que resurja todo el cuerpo,
"...ese prohibido y verdadero...
que me arrebate todos los sentidos."
martes, 10 de febrero de 2015
Hi my dearest void. I hope you're well. I have been wondering how you are but I guess the answer is your silence, whispering to my ear that everything is ok... shhhh!!! I have been lazy to write or too tired to think, or both. But I can always come back here and regain my strengh and write something in this language that belongs to others but nevertheless I feel better because at least I did write something. There shouldn't be a day without writing at least one line that will make up for the ones unwritten...so at least when I run out of words in Spanish, English comes to the rescue and gets me to write without a blink of an eye, I just keep writing until I finish my thoughts or at least almost finish.
As always, I have acknokledge that I am in fact a hopeless romantic. So there I was at my home and my daughter told me there's a movie I must see: "The Fault in Our Stars". When she explained me part of the plot I was a little discourage to watch it because I don't like sad endings, being a romantic makes me want to see a happily ever after in every story... but that's not always the case, as in this story. It ends tragically but it takes you through a journey you don't want to miss. It's a love story that shouldn't be overlooked because it ends up as it did. It actually gave new meaning to the happily ever after in my own story because I learn that love has no time frame.
Love is not only about being with someone forever, as in "I'll marry you" and "we'll be together forever" or as we have conceive it from our upbringing. I learned that the time frame thing is nonexistent and it's not what counts. There are infinities between every minute, every second, and those can last forever. There are bigger infinities than others, like the author explains: "There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities..." This means that a moment, just one moment could be our forever, our happily ever after.
In the story, Augustus and Hazel met and fell in love in a support group for patients with cancer as they were both sick. They spent what little time they had together, but she got it and in one of the last scenes she said something that change me forever: "..., Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful." ... the numbered days... wow! a moment can have no ending and is limitless, that is, if you believe that infinity transcends time.
viernes, 17 de octubre de 2014
Dearest void, as always, I greet you with "it's been a long time" because it always is, I mean, my life is a turmoil with a nonstop schedule. But thanks for sticking with me. Lately, I have been watching this television series about doctors and medicine, and how to become a surgeon and how miracles can happen and how medicine can go so far and then comes God. I love the show because of the constant uplifting messages and quotes. I have learn a lot about the health field, things I could never imagine, things I was not aware of because of my hectic way of living, specially the fact that life indeed is short and one never knows how fast it can blow away.
The leading lady in the series has suffered so much and it seems broken and twisted and dark. But in fact I believe, that,
to be her strengh. Life can never be taken lightly and not every day we will see a rainbow in the skies, which means, it's sometimes better to be ready for the worse and always expect the best. It's a good balance and makes you stronger and ready for whatever. That gives me hope!... until next time...
martes, 23 de setiembre de 2014
Soy la imagen de un surco indefinido,
la encarnación misma del mal,
la súcubo que todos temen,
el furor que no se extingue,
un cuerpo que flota sobre cuerdas,
el delirio que me lleva hacia ti
en espasmos dibujados de locura.
Pierdo la razón cuando fijas
ese azul sobrenatural mesurado,
castigo índigo de mi pecado
que desaparece como la malatía,
detrás de las sombras y de las dádivas,
de la inocencia mutilada,
de la duda entre el espejo y mi sustancia.
Soy la existencia errante de la luna roja
un viaje al purgatorio en una nave a la deriva
con un caronte que la guía por las aguas de Leteo.
Hoy me inclino a desdoblarme...
viernes, 19 de setiembre de 2014
Asumo la responsabilidad de decir
¡NO! para salvar las ilusiones de otros.
Guardo los secretos del atropello.
Porque algunos secretos deben mantenerse bajo la quietud de las aguas.
Asumo las críticas que me hagan por tener convicciones fuertes,
por los hermanos ajenos a una verdad. Asumo los comentarios, los estados, los juicios, la mendacidad, la pantalla creada a base de polvo.
Asumo todo porque aun creo en el ser humano
y prefiero que me dibujen como lo que NO SOY...
Boca Bacciata: Diálogo de los amantes...
"La boca besada no pierde su frescura sino que se renueva como la luna” Gabriel Dante Rossetti
- Eres cabello rojizo que dilata mis pupilas,
el lienzo y la trenza de la amante,
que me convierte en eterno,
en un dios alterado entre tu piel de mortal,
musa de los rizos ajados,
ondulada hebra agotada,
la manzana en el lienzo.
- Me hiciste el pecado mayor, tu musa, tu mucama, la ausencia en su rojo matiz.
La amante, la decenaria, tu pequeña elefante.
Aquello que necesitaras para tu deleite.
Soy la que se acostó en tu penumbra
y se desdibujó en tu cuerpo
...con un beso fatal.