jueves, 19 de mayo de 2016

In the end, it lead me to talk to you...



My dearest void, back in your pages, again.  This is my home, the place I can truly be myself, find the answers and the strength to go on.  As a dear friend said, hearts take time to mend, patience is the answer.  So while I am accompanying my mother to her doctor's appointment I wonder inside these walls and ponder life.  I have been somewhat let down: the story of my life.  How can I forgive and forget the wrong doings, how can I ponder the good things from the bad so that can get pass through what I consider an humiliation, a careless act and turn the page, start again, trust again.  I really need your help my dearest void. I need you to be the voice in my head telling me what to do, how to cope and move on.  How can I see through a different glass the same person and understand that beneath the surface, there's still a friend, a wonderful human being with flaws, because who doesn't has them, but with a heart of gold.  Thank you for listening my dearest, it seems like it's going to be another long night waiting at the doctor's office, but in the end, it lead me to talk to you.  I'll be seeing you. L

domingo, 31 de enero de 2016

Once upon a time... and they lived a happy life...


My dearest void, hello again, thank God you're here! for I cannot foresee myself without you.  I am going to tell you a story, and like with every story, there's this magical phrase to start the tale with..."Once upon a time..."  In different countries the phrase was slightly different, for instance "there was once", "it was once", "one day, a long time ago" "Once there was", "Once there lived a king" and usually ended up... "and they all lived happily ever after..." Originally, it was "happily until their deaths", "and they lived happily until the end of their days" or "they lived happily and had many children"  I could go on but then, my dearest void, I need to tell a story about an Angel and I have to start.  What was my favorite phrase? well, well, let's see....

Once upon a time... in a far away land, there lived a beautiful girl.  She was loved and cared by her loved ones very much, but she grew very close to her father.  They were also friends and she would confide in him all her heart's desires.  One day there was a very bad Genie who took him away.  By then, she was only 10 years old.  She cried every day for her dad to return home, but time passed and he never came back.  She prayed every night and asked an Angel to tell her why was her father missing.  She couldn't see him but she could feel the Angel's presence.  The girl grew up and became a woman.  She married eventually and had two girls.  Their resemblance to her father was inexplicable and while she never saw him again, one day, out the sudden, a man entered her place of work.  He was tall, pale, with deep green eyes, he was unusual looking.  He started working with her and after a few years, they became close friends.  By then, her children had grown up and she was in her mid forties.  Even with time, she would still pray and talk to the Angel about the whereabouts of her dad, that was taken away mysteriously.  One day,  the man that worked with her, with whom she had already created a bond, told her the truth.  He was the Angel she prayed since she was a little girl.  He was there to guard her every day until the end of time.  He consoled her about her missing dad and told her he was in a better place and promised her that someday they would be reunited again.  Nevertheless, he told her he was never going to leave her side or her children's because he was their Guardian Angel.  She felt comforted and happy.  At least she knew she was going to see her dad again in the heavens and would never feel alone knowing that her Angel was always going to be there to protect her and her loved ones... and they lived a happy life.  The End.

Thank you, my dearest void. Writing you every day gives me hope that someone out there listens to me.  That is comfort enough for me while I await to meet my father again.  Of course you know, I am the girl in the story.  Until next time my dearest void, I'll be seeing you...

miércoles, 13 de enero de 2016

My dearest void, just as you are...





My dearest void, hello again!! Here I am.  So glad to be here knowing that somewhere, out there, you can hear the eco of my written words, in the darkness of the night or whenever you have a chance to come back to me.  Like always, there's a line in a movie, but you know that already, this time is from the adorable romantic comedy "Bridget's Jones Diary".  I love this movie, mostly because the protagonist, Bridget, is an ordinary girl, not a model type, not the glamorous type.  Just a simple girl with great expectations.  She is kind of clumsy and a little chubby.  She was looking for love and was in fear of becoming a spinster because she was already 31 years old and had no boyfriend.  It's a hilarious movie, I mean, that's why is has been such a success.  And to think the author was inspired by Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice and the arrogant Mr. Darcy...

In this case, one of the best lines of the first installment of the trilogy was when Mr. Darcy tells her,  after meeting in a gathering in which Bridget was being painfully embarrassed by some of their friends about being a spinster in the making, that he liked her, just as she was.  That was a catch for me.  What is the meaning of loving someone just the way they are? I wondered...

A difficult question to answer.  Yet, it defines where someone stands in your life.  Either they accept you just the way you are or they don't.  If the first, that's true love, in it's different shades, from a lover, a friend, a family member and so forth; if the second, that's when you need to say goodbye, because you need to rise above and remember that loving yourself is the greatest love of all, and being near someone who doesn't appreciate you with all your strengths and flaws, is not worth the time.

Thank God you're here my dearest void, my blank page, so that I can tell you everything my heart desires, because no matter what, you do love me just as I am.  With you, I don't need to pretend to be perfect, to tell you exactly what you want to hear, to be flawless, with you I can be just me and as crazy as to think you might be the real thing, after all...
Until next time, my dearest, I'll be seeing you. L


viernes, 1 de enero de 2016

Another year, another story... My New Year's Resolutions


My dearest void, Happy New Year!! Another year, another story.  As always, I am so glad you're here waiting for me, patiently, to write it.  It's not that easy, but nevertheless I feel somewhat relieved to tell you what comes to mind throughout the year.  You are that something that fills my days, that keeps me grounded and alive.  Today is the first day of the year 2016.  I hope that you help me get through the next 364 days left to start a new one.  I'm always always scared of the unknown.  My heart is beating fast as the day is winding down.  Time flies!! Sometimes is better to face whatever comes our way than to lie down before the sun and wait for the night supper.  I'm restless my dearest void.  I can't seem to stop thinking.  I guess I'm not the resting kind.  But sometimes I know we all need to stop at one point, specially today, and think about the promises we want to make to ourselves and to others, the so called New Year's Resolutions.  I've been thinking about them and at the end of the day I will make a list, and I will try my best to stick by it, so that when I write you back next year, you would be pleased for me and I for one would be glad I kept them.  So make a list my dearest void and I'll make mine and let's see how life goes on...  Until next time! I'll be seeing you! L

domingo, 27 de diciembre de 2015

The biggest day...


My dearest void, hello again, I've missed you terribly.  I am glad you are always right here, right where I left off the last time I wrote something silly to you.  Thank you for listening...

Christmas is almost over, at least in several places, specially in the United States.  On January 2nd is back to work, back to school, back to normal.  Here in Puerto Rico we like to make The Christmas Season a little longer, to enjoy the holidays a little more.  We even celebrate the Three Kind Day as a National Holiday to prolong the season.  We all know Christmas is special, mostly because of the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, but the rest of it is this mystical magic that has been created in our minds around the season that has made us all believe that this is the time for a miracle, not in February or in June, not in any other month but during Christmas.  I realized these days, more than ever that, that's not true.  I am quoting part of a line from the TV series Grey's Anatomy and it goes:

"You never know the biggest day of your life is going to be the biggest. The days you think are going to be big ones, they’re never as big as you make them out to be in your head. It’s the regular days, the ones that start out normal. Those are the days that end up being the biggest..."

So my dearest void, there's going to be a day... my day...  it will happen, when a miracle occurs. I will be surprised, I won't know it until I am in it, living the best day of my life.  It may or may not be on Christmas Season.  I don't have a clue when my miracle will happen, but for sure, it will start as a normal day, as a regular day and suddenly something extraordinary will take my breath away, that will be my day...

"You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day, not until it’s happening. You don’t recognize the biggest day of your life, not until your right in the middle of it."

So my dearest void, I won't lose hope, because every day could be that day... Let's pray and wait for a miracle... until next time and thank you for being a part of my life... L

jueves, 17 de diciembre de 2015

Courage



My dearest void, I really hope you're ok.  I am sorry I haven't been able to write you as of late.  I wish I could say that I have been busy, instead, I have to say that I have been a little blue, nostalgic and in a fragile state, in part, due to my responsibilities, in part in fear of my well being, in part because of my heart... It get's broken almost every day, God knows why!!! 
The other day I saw a movie, a romantic movie, as I often do, "Kate and Leopold" and as always, I wait for that line that will inspire me.  I need to be inspired to be able to breathe! And it goes: 
"Brave is simply those with the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike and notwithstanding, go out and meet it."
Wow!!! I've seen this movie before, but now, more than ever, this line makes sense and is meaningful to me.  I wish I was brave, I wish I could have the strength to embrace pain or happiness, whatever comes my way with the same stamina.  
Here's where you fill in my dearest friend.  There's a sense of hope that I'll become such a brave person just by telling it to you, because somewhere, out there, the universe, you and my Lord are listening to my heart's desire and somehow I know you"ll make it happen, against all odds.  Courage will come from within, because something greater than myself is taking control of my life.  Thank you for listening as always, my dearest void, I'll be seeing you! L