Love Story...

Loading...

viernes, 14 de agosto de 2015

EL ABRIGO DE PIEL






















Ella está toda allí.
Fue derretida cuidadosamente para ti
y moldeada desde tu infancia,
moldeada desde tus cien edades preferidas.

Anne Sexton

Kayo, te marchaste y me dejaste,
sin embargo, queda todo encerrado
dentro de la sonrisa de dos inocentes,
los hijos que me hicieron mujer.
Quizá por eso quise dejar de respirar.

Ella siempre ha estado allí, cariño.
Fuegos artificiales en el centro de un sombrío febrero…

Escuché tus pecados, en silencio,
cuando no quisiste comulgar,
me vestí de púrpura
y me maquillé los ojos de negra noche
la esposa de la depresión postparto
en el día en que intenté apagar las velas,
y enhebrar la lana defectuosa de mi padre.
La burguesa más pobre de todas,
la que delata su angustia en un verso,
la que quiere ser la esposa a toda costa.

Afrontémoslo, yo he sido pasajera.
Ella es más que eso. Ella es tu tengo que tener…

Me vestí con un abrigo de piel, un regalo de mi madre,
porque después de todo, yo no supe serlo,
preferí inhalar carbono hasta la muerte,
dejarlos sin mi abrigo encerrada en mi locura.
¡Qué nadie me juzgue porque yo sola me basto!
Y por ahora...

Te devuelvo el corazón.

Te doy permiso.

jueves, 13 de agosto de 2015

They lived...

And while Cinderella and her Prince did live happily ever after, the point, gentleman, is that they lived...  "Ever After"

Dearest void, an inspiring thought!!! It takes my breath away!! Can I write about happy endings? Yes, I believe I might, but there has to be a struggle, a danzel in distress that needs to be saved, a witch to be killed, an unrequited love that suddenly and magically becomes real.  I believe, dearest void, that my heart needs a push to ink my soul into a deep insight, a poem, a story, and that is by facing the wind and by tasting the sand from the dessert, so when I drink the water, I know the difference. That's life balance, the right and the wrong, the good that comes with the bad.  But I need a happy ending desperately, more than life itself, even if it's in heaven.  So happy is in my stories, even in the saddest one, there will always be a smile waiting to be unleashed... Good night my dearest void, until next time!!!

miércoles, 12 de agosto de 2015

At the doctor's office...

My dearest void, hello again, I know it's late and I am truly sorry if I had woken you up, it was not my intention but I had no choice because, as you know, you're my best friend and nobody gets me like you do.  I accompanied my mom to her doctor's appointment and suddenly I remembered my father's saying: that he wanted to pass away quickly, that he didn't want to be a burden or have a long illness.  I was sad when he died, maybe too young, I needed him then and now and I would give anything to have him close to me, even if that means the long hours, the waiting for the physician which takes forever, but then again, I understand now what he meant 20 years ago.  He was right, not about the burden, but I've seen my mother struggle and suffering and every day it's more painful.  Every day I am more aware of her passing away maybe sooner than later.  I don't know who has more pain, she is enduring a lot if things, I mean she is in a delicate condition, but I believe it's me.

The thought of losing her is killing me, the lack of patient care is also very upsetting!! So much is 11:30 PM and we're still waiting. I guess this comes from living in a place with scarce means. A place where there's no hope for a better future, because our past will hunt us forever.  But that's politics and I won't get into that... So I'll go back to my mom, the doctor's office, the lack of patient care, the pain, her struggle, and through it all, the lack of help from my loved ones.  Is it a sin? Can I judge? I'll lay this thought in the air for you to answer, my dearest void, but it sure doesn't feel right! Until next time!!! Don't go anytime soon!!! 

Exclamo y me pregunto...


¡Aaahhh!!! ¿Por qué son 78? 
¿Por qué la vida termina a tan corta edad?
¿Por qué no a la regeneración?
¿Por qué las células nos destruyen?
¿Por qué las diminutas células 
pueden más que nuestra voluntad, 
por qué la muerte o su olor, por qué la niñez?
¡Los gritos no se escuchan! 
¿Por qué tanta lucha?
¿Por qué, por qué, por qué 
y por qué me repito lo mismo?  
¿Por qué mi cuerpo no responde, 
por qué el cansancio, 
por qué la indiferencia de un galeno 
y la sonrisa de un soldado?
¿Por qué la vida no dura 600 años?
¿Por qué ya no puedo llorar? 
¿Por qué no puedo decir nada, 
por qué me tengo que callar, 
por qué sufre el envejeciente, 
por qué el joven?
¿Por qué yo?

martes, 11 de agosto de 2015

Utopías


Llevar una sortija en el cuello
con una marca de sol en mi anular
y volver a vestirme de novia.
Tener cinco años para viajar el mundo
y subir pirámides en sus brazos, otra vez,
ataviarme de índigo y de blusas blancas
para alimentar palomas en la plazoleta,
escuchar gritos de miedo en una góndola
y aprender francés desde la Torre Eiffel. 
Acostarme sobre una alfombra de hojas,
tomar una copa hasta la inconciencia,
mantenerme en el aire, viajar con él,
volver a esa Villa y perderme en sus ojos
mirando los clásicos hasta la aurora.
Bailar sobre una gama de luces intermitentes 
para desembriagarme en la casa iluminada.
Liberar mis entrañas y recibir otra prenda
que guarde mis tesoros cuando ya no esté.

jueves, 6 de agosto de 2015

Quotes from the tv show Grey's Anatomy, by Meredith Grey...

My dearest void, today I felt really down, but at the end of the day something or someone suddenly turned up and uplifted, revived and restored what was broken. It's so sad when you realize how alone you are in this world, and how hard you have to work to get through every single day.  I found this quote from Grey's Anatomy, a tv show that I enjoy so much and that sometimes I can relate to, specially to it's main character, Meredith Grey.  I love her quotes because I can find the answers to some of my questions and to how I feel sometimes...  at the end of the day...

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

Until next time, dear void, don't go anywhere any time soon...

martes, 4 de agosto de 2015

Belewe


"Hay tanta soledad en ese oro.
La luna de las noches no es la luna
que vio el primer Adán. Los largos siglos
de la vigilia humana la han colmado
de antiguo llanto. Mírala. Es tu espejo."
Jorge Luis Borges

Serena lámina de un mar inmenso

arrodillado de orillas en la noche,
perdido color azur hecho de vidrio,
luna traicionera, incolora, fantasma
de las épocas, de infinitos universos,
luna lívida que se oculta y surge,
como río que nace de mi cuerpo,
te prefiero creciente, nueva o menguante,
luna alevosa y súbita, sol a tu antojo, 
espejo doble de los días y de las reglas.
Eres solo la visión de sus ojos, ¡insulsa!
sombra en que se esconde el cobarde 
para llorar la aurora o el hombre que ama 
para aullar su lecho de saciada luna.


lunes, 3 de agosto de 2015

Blue moon


My dearest void, hello again.  I wasn't sure either to write a poem or to write you.  I really need to free myself from so much burden, it's suffocating!!! I am trying to lay some of it in your pages, in your unwritten white and peaceful pages so that I can feel some relief.  I hope it works.  I am listening to some oldies that I love while I write to try and cheer myself up. I was more of a kid back then but I still love them, they're in my memories, reminiscence of the time when I didn't have to worry about anything except school or my inexperienced love life or some other things, but nothing more. I wish I could go back and start over, I often think, but when I look into my children eyes I just know I would make the same mistakes and take the same road that would have lead me to them.

It's not working!!!... so let's write a poem instead dearest void, maybe there I might be able to find the peace I am desperately seeking... I am completely restless, I want to fly, to set myself free like that song, but words are not enough and life is too short to do everything my  heart desires.  Let me hold my breath and pull through to the other side of the ocean of whatever I am facing... Would you give me yours dearest void? You have already... I guess I will put that poem on hold because I am starting to feel better, or maybe I'll write just a line that will become part of my next poem:


"Luna Azul

Me vuelvo a esconder detrás de ti,
busco tu sombra en el azul de la luna,
esa que se escapa cada cierto tiempo
y que regresa para recordarte.
Serena lámina de un mar inmenso
arrodillado de orillas en la noche.
Infinito universo perdido en vitrales de luz..."

...Until next time my dearest void, don't blow away anytime soon...!